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‘So, there’s a lady present!’ Ed yelled, ‘I’m trying to be a gentleman here!’ Harry rolled his eyes and said, ‘Ed, you trying to be a gentleman is like giraffe trying to be a ballerina. You’re no good at it. Knock it off!’ ‘Ed, thank you for the thought,’ said Gloria, ‘but, I’m not all that sensitive to language.’ ‘I’m glad that somebody appreciates my efforts,’ said Ed, ‘You could learn a lot from her, Harry.’ ‘Just this once,’ Gloria said evenly but firmly, ‘could we avoid spending the first ten minutes of this call with you two sniping at each other?’ Harry looked at her slack-jawed, as though she had just said the preposterous and impossible thing in the world. Ed was probably looking at his phone the same way. ‘We’re always like this,’ said Harry. ‘I know,’ said Gloria, rolling her eyes. ‘You don’t understand,’ said Ed, ‘We’ve always been like this. We’ve been doing it since highschool.’ ‘Yes,’ said Harry, ‘in highschool Bill, Ed, and I were the Three Musketeers!’ ‘Or the Three. Do something.”“What?”“I don’t know ... something.”The nanny/wet nurse stepped into the room and slapped the shit outta me.“OW!”Once more with feeling...“OW!” Rubbing my wet and inflamed cheeks, I said, “What did you do that for?”Jim and Jenny both said, “Well, that was something. It worked.”Jim said, “Good job. What’s your name?”“Because I was born under a sycamore tree, the People call me Myndee.”“Ah,” said Jenny, “Acer pseudoplatanus. Invasive species. Imported from England but not native to the Isles. Ancestry is central Asia. First discovered in England in 1500. Brought as seed to Sydney, Australia by an unknown convict in 1789. Thrives in wetlands.” She looked up. “Sorry, hobby of mine.”“Invasive species?” Myndee said. “I’m tagged after a Foreign Tree?”“Looks like,” Jenny said.I was still rubbing my sore jaw ... I might even be nursing a grudge. “Son of a gun, you struck a mighty blow...” or something along that line. I was fairly frazzled. The past month had been difficult, to.
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